(Reader alert: This may or may not be a bit of a rant. Feel free to ignore this entire post.)
So, I've heard the phrase, "Fake it 'til you make it," before, but I never really felt like it applied to me until now.
I am having a hard time as a classroom teacher. I don't know why it's so much different from last year, or from student teaching, but it is. I feel like I have about 108 extremely-urgent-and-need-your-attention-at-this-very-second-or-the-world-will-end balls that I'm juggling at the moment (hyperbole added mostly by my supervisors, but also by me). And I don't know what to do about it. I thought my first year of teaching was tough. To emulate a dear friend, I. had. no. idea. I feel like I'm having to fake teaching experience until I actually have it. But there's no room for the slightest mistake. Piece of cake, right?
Here's an example.
I'm not a dirty person, by nature. I'm not the cleanest, but I'm not dirty. The way some of the other teachers comment on my classroom, you would think that I have a herd of muddy, book-throwing dinosaurs making Brachiosaurus-sized messes at every turn. Three times today (three!) I was approached about how my students tend to leave their books on the floor.
Yep. They do.
I'd rather have that than have them running to their lockers at all times of the day. And that was a conscious decision.
But nope, evidently students at ACA cannot learn if their books are on the floor (as for the it-messes-up-the-books argument, some of my co-workers allow their students to SIT on their textbooks!).
I have enough on my plate in class with trying to be a full-time ESL teacher, a constant behavior modifier for three students, an LD specialist, a judge, a consoler, a teacher, and a caring Christian influence. To be honest, I don't care if my students put their books on the floor. I need to pick my battles.
Once again, though, as in the last post, I have to remember that God is my strength. I must rely upon Him alone to get me through the difficulties of teaching. He can safely guide each of the 108 juggling balls back into my hands (the analogy seems a bit weird at this point). Good thing. 'Cause I would be out of this career path pretty quick otherwise.