Dec 29, 2008

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

Well, I've finished another book worth posting about - The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. What did I think of it? I'll try to keep this short (and organized!).

- Some of the major philosophies are clearly unbiblical - namely that man should be exalted and not humbled.

- There are several scenes which are not appropriate.

- It's a long book.

- It's a long book. (The longer you read, the more you care deeply about the characters and what happens to them. I was only bored twice during this book)

- It causes you to think. There is no way you can read this book and not ponder what it means to have integrity and to truly and consistently work from a single mindset/worldview. And it criticizes the media in a unique way.

- It teaches you a lot about architecture. I've found myself analyzing buildings that I see.

- The characters evoke feeling (even the antagonist evokes feeling - usually anger, but it's still feeling) that most characters do not.

- While not a hugely plotty book, the plot is driving and twisty (mainly because of two characters: Dominique and Ellsworth).

- It's extremely well written - there are a few books that I've read that simply make you enjoy breathing. This is one of them. (Perhaps a list of others will follow at some point)

Overall Rating:
9 out of 10.

Dec 26, 2008

Happy Boxing Day!

Well, my body decided to end Christmas with a bang, and ring in Boxing Day with style. Namely, the style of puking your guts out until you are puking up bile. That's right. Liver juices were coming out of my mouth. Huuuugh. Grosses me out just thinking about it. How sick do you have to be to have that happen?

I was supposed to work a morning shift at work today. That didn't happen. I probably would have been the BEST server ever. My extreme lack of energy and appetite would have made for a fun night for all. Funny thing is, my boss almost made me drive to the cities and work my night shift. Lovely. That too, didn't happen.

If this doesn't make sense, it's because I feel like a zombie (and my fingers are slipping all over the keys). But I needed something to do. Two movies and a full day of doing nothing are great and all, but in the right context. This is not that context.

Anyhow, I'm sorry if you were disgusted by any part of this post. I know I was.

And what keeps coming back to me is that even something as trivial as the stomach flu is designed in God's plan. Not so fun, but then, many of God's plans don't seem fun at the time. Can't wait until heaven to have a bigger understanding of what those plans were. . .

Dec 16, 2008


Random Note: I just took the Meyers-Briggs Personality Test. I'm an ENFP for those of you who know what that means. And now on to the real reason for this post.

My last post has kept me thinking. To be honest, I was a bit surprised when I hit the "Publish Post" button, because I hadn't been intending on doing so. But as I was thinking about that, I began to think about the reasons for my publishing that post. And to be honest, it was what I needed. I needed to write it and I needed to know that my words could possibly help someone. I started this blog with the intention of putting my thoughts down where everyone could see - and I started it selfishly. I wanted more readers. I wanted more people to know what the mind of Warren MacLeod looks like. And I am ashamed of that fact. Instead of trying to use this blog to encourage the body of Christ, I began using it with the purpose of encouraging my ego (as though it needs more encouragement).

Frankly, I'm a little surprised at my honesty on this blog lately. I hope it doesn't stop. Lies and deception do nothing to build up the body of Christ in the long run. Pretenses and selfishness are stones cast at the Body. So no more.

". . . Therefore, I will boast in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 Corinthians 12:9b

Dec 11, 2008

One More Piece of Trash to Add to My Already Prodigious Pile of Rubbish

Tomorrow is my last undergrad class ever. Ever. And the funny thing is, I'm not really excited about it. I'm approaching it the same way I approached student teaching, the same way I approached Thanksgiving, the same way I'm approaching Christmas: with a laissez-faire semi-apathetic attitude that refuses to acknowledge the important events in my life. I don't know why. It's like ever since fall of my junior year of college, I've been just rolling through life, even-keeled, almost dispassionate. There have been moments of passion and zeal, and moments of sorrow and pain, but much of my life these years has been quite . . . numb.

This is probably not the place to be vomiting life reflections on those of you who even see this page. But as a chapel speaker said last week, we need to be honest with our pain. And I'm doing that now.

But I need to say it. I'm not the person I was.

I think a lot of it started when I came back from Europe. I had been humiliated and kicked back home, but tried to put on a smile and say it was all for the best, when really, I knew I was . . . hurting.

And then came my 0h-so-favorite-teacher, and all that she has put me through these last two years, and I think a part of my mind just turned off all that I felt, unless that feeling was extreme. That way, I wouldn't have to deal with the pain and humiliation of having my dreams crash and burn, my scholarship lost, and the work of my hands labeled as unworthy of even 1/10 of the total points (I won't go into any of these stories here. They are quite long, and chances are, you know them already).

As I write this, I realize that all of the things which have pained me most in the past two years are not issues that I should care about (the poor, the lost, the broken-hearted), but rather, issues that attack my own pride - my own swollen ego. And I am just now realizing that I have a sin issue that I had believed myself to be free of years ago - pride. Unhealthy, selfish pride.

Lord, remove any misconceptions I have of myself so that I am not deceived by my own pride. In place of my pride, fill me with humility and gratefulness to you for even glancing at a hypocritical, prideful being like myself. And you did much more than glance - you freed me from pride - you forgave my sins - you justified and are sanctifying me in ways I cannot imagine. Let me not forget that.